Grateful for Real Girlfrieds AKA mommy friends

So I can honesty say that I am more than blessed in the mommy friends department. Being co-director of the local moms club has helped with this (and as Clark says he never thought by me being in a Mommy club that he would get friends).

As I write this my girlfriends and their husbands have helped my family and I through an Emma crisis. Emma was having some difficulties with one of her playmates. This playmate can be overly aggressive. So issues arise.

We had already been told to keep our child away from this playmate by a professional that had seen interactions between the two children and had said that this relationship was toxic to Emma but life happens and interactions occur. Then the latest situation happened and Clark was done, Emma was done and so was I.

We knew we could only control Emma. We also immediately enrolled her into an anti-bullying/self defense class. Sound extreme? Yes, in some ways. But we are not always going to be there as parents and Emma needs to know how to be assertive using her mind, words and if necessary physically. And as a girl, knowledge is power.

So Clark and I have intentionally kept Emma away from this other child. Then a girlfriend mentioned "Why?". You are then giving power to the child and the parents (yes to answer the question we have talked to the parents and repeatedly we have been told we "parent differently" or when Emma was shoveled in the corner and repeatedly pushed on by this other child after Emma was yelling "no" that it was one time incident, we realize we can communicate over and over but it is not our child and we only can teach our child right from wrong).

We really started to think and PRAY about this. My girlfriend was right. SO the other day, when I knew Emma would be around her other friends and I would be around mine, I went to a place where I knew this child would be. In a span of 90 minutes, this child did not share with Emma, would not take turns with others, would grab things from others, tore apart foam pit squares, stormed off and pouted about 6 times. Yes, I counted because each time I said nothing to the parent or the child, but to Emma I said, "Come on let's go do something else." And off we would go. In our dust, the parent had try to discipline.

I almost had to laugh at one point the other child said to mine, "Why don't you want to be friends with me?" Mmmmmmm...I am not 4 years old, but if you were consistently not sharing, not taking turns, storming off and pouting, I would not want to be friends with you either.

So at the end of the time, Emma, I just love her honesty says in front of me, the child, the child's parent, "Mommy, She was not mean to me today." I had to smile because we had chosen not to engage with this other child when the behavior was out of control and my child felt good. YEAH!

I should add we know Emma is not perfect. However, our job as her parents is to do the best we can for her and to guide her in the best direction and sometimes we need the advice of real girlfriends or AKA mommy friends. It goes a long way!