superheroes

http://livermore.patch.com/articles/moms-talk-should-kids-be-punished-for-playing-superheroes
Moms Talk: Should Kids Be Punished For Playing Superheroes?

Our panel discusses whether some school rules hinder imaginative play.

By Gerry Lavin | Email the author | February 23, 2011
10 Comments


My son got in trouble on the school playground this week. He was sent home with instructions to write a note of apology to the teacher who reprimanded him. He was cited for three offenses: 1) running on the play structure; 2) not listening to the teacher who told him to stop what he was doing; 3) gun play.

We had a long discussion about the incident that night. He understood he was wrong in needing to be told more than once to stop running on the play structure. We talked about respect for what teachers say and respect for the rules. He understood he needs to be a better listener. He doesn’t understand why he’s not allowed to play superheroes with his friends.

“You’re just not allowed to pretend to shoot guns,” I said. “No fighting, no weapons at school, not even if you’re pretending.”

No gun play. This is a districtwide policy, according to his teacher. I haven’t actually seen it in writing anywhere so I’m not sure if that’s the official term. I haven’t, in fact, seen any written rules about recess, but I’m trying to support my son’s teacher and I’m trying to respect the rules of the school.

This country has seen too many violent instances of students taking aim at other students, literally. Students have been found with knives and guns at school. No good can ever come of it. I’m glad it’s against the law. I’m glad there are rules in place to punish the students who bring weapons to school. I get it.

But punishing 6-year-olds for pretending to be superheroes? I don’t get it.

I’ve always been fascinated by my son’s boundless imagination. Beginning at the age of 2 1/2, my son was obsessed with make believe. He’d act out scenes of grand proportion and develop characters out loud who came from places I didn’t even know he knew about. Play structures were pirate ships and slides were entrances to dark tunnels and pits of fire.

There were always bad guys about and he was always the hero who saved the day.

His room was filled with props and dress-up clothes for everything from knights in shining armor to pirates to safari detectives. When my son was 4 years old, a dear friend gifted my son with two simple capes, a red one with an S on it and a black one with the shape of a bat on it. The capes became possibly the two best and most used “toys” my son ever received.

I believe imaginative play is a good thing, a healthy indication of a strong mind and a creative tool for young children to explore the world around them with confidence. I encourage it in my son to the extent that I can, acknowledging the presence of his imaginary friends, and allowing them to come along on our journeys each day as long as they, too, obey our rules and show good behavior, which they almost always do.

There are certain things, however, I have no control over and that is the essential elements of some of these characters. Pirates are bad guys who steal. They fight each other with guns and knives and swords. They have bad manners. Knights in shining armor carry swords. They fight each other with those swords. Batman is always fighting bad guys. He fights them off with batarangs and motorcycles with major ammunition loaded into the engines.

I can’t help but feel like a traitor to my son when I squelch his favorite games. By telling him to amend his superheroes to anything but weapons I feel like I’m stifling the very essence of his imagination. So is this where it ends? Imaginative play is good in all its forms until children enter elementary school? Hands are considered weapons if modeled in a certain context and therefore they should be punished for it? I’m having a hard time with this school rule and I’ve only just entered first grade.

Contributor Wendy Smith writes:

I fondly remember my son's adoration for "Toy Story" when he was 2. He would hold out his finger or a stick, transforming it into a imaginary gun, and shout "reach for the sky!" For a short while he would become Woody, the high-ridin'-est, rootin'-tootin'-est cowboy hero of all time.

Within a few years, he became enthralled with superheroes. We owned Spiderman, Batman, Superman and Power Ranger costumes. It wasn't unusual to see him scootering with a cape flying behind him on our walks in the morning. He claimed he was the defender of all that was good fighting against evil.

Today, my son is a "Star Wars" enthusiast. We must own a half dozen lightsabers. I hear often of the secret battles between his Jedi friends and himself, a member of "the Dark Side," during recess.

"Why are the battles secret?" I asked him one afternoon.

"Well, we're really not supposed to pretend fight. It's against the school rules," he explained to me.

I've heard many complaints from my children about all the rules that seem to be imposed on them during school hours. However, I find it interesting that even in the little bit of playtime the children actually get, which amounts to less than 45 minutes a day, they are restricted in their imaginative play.

I am confident my son would never harm one of his buddies intentionally nor am I concerned that he will grow up to become a violent individual because of his passion for defeating the Jedi warriors who roam his schoolyard. On the contrary, I believe that through imaginary play he learns to develop important social skills that cannot be taught from a textbook. He learns the ability to recognize social cues, to problem solve, the boundaries in which respecting another lie and the basic grounds for companionship.

Imagination allows self expression and creativity. Learning these important tools early in life increases a child's self-worth. To stifle children's imaginative play by reprimanding them teaches them to repress their creativity. It instills in them an apprehension about expressing their thoughts for fear of being berated.

As a parent, it is a double-edged sword. On one hand, I want my son to respect his adult mentors. On the other hand, I don't always agree with the guidelines they set for him. However, no one will ever parent my son the way I want him to be parented.

Six and a half hours a day, my children are raised by "parents" who don't adhere to all of my values. But isn't that a basic lesson in life? My children will one day grow up and work under employers who may not hold the same ideals as they do. They may live next door to people who conflict with their belief systems. But those people will not define who my children are or will become.

When my son comes home complaining that the yard duty has so many rules, I remind him that school is his job and at work we have to follow rules. But I encourage him not to let the rules, the teachers, the yard duty or administrators change who he is or what he loves. So while my son may not be allowed to bring down the Jedi forces at school under the watchful eyes of the yard duty, the force is always with him at home.

Another Moms Talk contributor, Deborah May, says:

I am very much in favor of strict gun-control laws, but I have to admit we have all let this go too far when 6-year0olds with “finger guns” are seen as a problem—though I do see why anything that could be confused for a real weapon is strictly banned.

First of all, rules that seek to eliminate the word “gun” from a child’s vocabulary are contrary to human nature. Kids love to play games that involve pretend weapons, and every child I know is allowed to do so at home—in the form of dress up, video games, Nerf guns, etc.

Second, while we can all agree that stressed teens shooting up schoolyards is beyond horrible, I do not believe that removing pretend weapon play at young ages will prevent those types of tragedies from occurring. (What might help is providing early intervention and counseling to troubled youth and their families.)

My guess is that these zero-tolerance policies are not intended to prevent incidents, but to provide legal cover should a lawsuit arise. Such policies may even be required by insurers. As a taxpayer, I feel otherwise ineffective rules are worth lower insurance rates. As a parent, I will support the school's policies. But, it is frustrating that so much administrative attention—and thus school funds—focus on these types of rules when our educational system is so desperate for resources.

Kathleen Schoening, a contributor to Moms Talk, adds:

No guns or gunplay at school is a must. That starts at the preschool level. Guns have a place and it is not in the school. No exceptions. Respect is also a must.

No imaginative play of superheroes at school? I would want to see that written school policy.

I think of when I was younger and of my first superhero. The person was not from the pages of a magazine but from the big screen.

It was John Wayne. John Wayne was bigger than life (no, I am not that old). John Wayne rode into town on his horse, carrying a gun to save the town from a bank robber or a purse snatcher. He was a hero not only as an actor but also as an activist. Jimmy Carter said of John Wayne, "It was because of what John Wayne said about what we are and what we can be that his great and deep love of America can be returned in full measure."

John Wayne was a superhero to many.

Not only is imaginative play of superheroes extremely important to a child’s development, it helps us educate them about what superheroes truly are. Superheroes can be real lessons on history and the individuals in our history who impact our world.

Now, if my daughter wanted to play superheroes at school and wanted to play John Wayne or Amelia Earhart and the school wanted to write her up, I think we would have a sit down with the school. School policy or not.