Volunteer jobs

http://livermore.patch.com/articles/moms-talk-how-much-volunteering-is-enough
Moms Talk: How Much Volunteering is Enough?

Volunteer jobs can be both energizing and fatiguing for moms.

By Cameron Sullivan | Email the author | February 9, 2011
11 Comments


Each Wednesday, Patch will publish a column called Moms Talk where our panel of mom experts will pose a question and give answers and advice on a topic.

It was December of 2007. I’d decided to increase my work hours and was enjoying new intellectual stimulation and income. But by 3 p.m. daily, I was so frazzled I had to hide in a corner secretly consuming dark chocolate just to survive homework time. At night, I slept poorly.

Taking stock, I realized that volunteer efforts for schools and organizations my children belonged to interfered with the aspect of life I held most sacred: Quality family time.

From newsletter production and sponsor solicitation to in-class writing lessons for first graders, creative work for a proposed museum, and writing workshops for elementary school GATE kids (which my kids didn’t attend), I was contributing more than a healthy amount.

Soon I stopped any volunteer work that consumed more than two hours of personal time per week. I worried that fellow moms were surprised or disappointed. When I returned to some volunteer work in September of 2008, I stuck to projects needing skills I could offer uniquely, jobs that invigorated– not drained – me.

The result is a more balanced mom who knows when to speak up if optional work gets overwhelming. Now is the time of year when boards of directors are looking to recruit new volunteers for 2011 or for the next academic year.

How do you decide what kind of volunteer work to do, and how much time you’re willing to give? Should some moms volunteer more or less than other moms, and why? How do you manage volunteer fatigue?

Another Mom's Council contributor, Kathleen Schoening says:

I love the question. Why? Because I think there is a careful balance of volunteering in your children’s life and letting your children’s life become yours.

There is a group of us where our kids attend the same coop preschool and go to many of the same kids activities. My husband and I have had the privilege of getting to know the instructors, the parents and the children.

We volunteer our time because we want our daughter to know we are there to support her in life. However, when volunteering in the classroom or other activities, sometimes you see things that as a parent your heart drops but as a volunteer your role in that situation includes not only your child but all involved and you have to step back.

So maybe your kid is pushed, maybe he is picked last for the game or maybe there is a verbal dispute. You have to be keep yourself in check and realize life happens when you are not there. Also and just as important, is how you react as a volunteer demonstrates to your child life lessons.

We try and keep ourselves in careful balance because as volunteers we know more because we are there; we experience more because we are there.

It is a balance. It is something to be honest with as a parent and as a volunteer I sometimes struggle with. If you find yourself volunteering in all your children’s activities, has your child’s life become yours?

Patch Mom Council contributor, Gerry Gaisser writes:

I think a lot of us learn the hard way that there's a line that can be easily crossed when it comes to volunteering too much time at our children's schools. As Cameron points out, if you don't learn how to say no early, a few hours of volunteer time can turn into a full-time job if you let it.

I have two rules of thumb for volunteering at my child's school. Number one, I want to know what I'm actually signing up for. Before I put myself on yet another committee, I talk to current members of the committee to find out how work is allocated among the group and try to get a reasonable estimation of time involved. It helps to know other moms who may volunteer with you on projects so you have people you can depend on.

Number two, I do it because I want to and because I want to get involved or give back to the school community in some way. I believe in volunteering at our schools. I believe the more we get involved as parents, the better our understanding is of our own educational system, and the better our educational system gets with parents who care.

I also believe volunteering sends the right message to our kids, that we're an integral part of their education and that we care about what they do on a day to day basis. That said, I think all moms should make an effort to volunteer when they can. I think throughout the school year it's possible for everyone to take a turn at lending a hand at some point, whether it be working in a child's classroom, escorting on a field trip, or helping out at Bingo night.

But by all means, whatever you do, avoid the biggest no-no in volunteering. Don't sign up for something and then bail on doing it when the time comes. That's just awful.

Deborah May, a contributor to Patch's Mom Council, says:

I try to spend my volunteer time doing things that I highly value. With three elementary age children my focus now is volunteering at school, but even then there are more opportunities than time. I try to avoid things that don’t directly impact the quality of education, because that is important to me personally and I know I won’t resent the time and effort I spend.

I also try to ask myself, “Am I helping the teachers?” With the increasing class sizes teachers are busier than ever and rely heavily on parent involvement. Those two points keep me focused and help me determine what I should say "no" to.

Should some moms volunteer more than others? While each person has different resources — time, energy, and talent — nearly everyone has something to contribute. Stay-at-home moms do much of the volunteering, and I do believe that working parents should do more, but not just moms — dads too!

Unfortunately, willing parents are not always sure how to get involved. Volunteer coordinators could do a better job of reaching out beyond their traditional groups and structuring opportunities so working parents can participate.
How do you manage to balance your volunteer work with other demands? Tell us in the comments.