Grandma Broaddus

Last night you passed away. I know God has held a special place for you in Heaven next to Grandpa. Someday we will join you but for now I cherish the memories.

I will remember the day I was going to introduce Emma to you and before I could say she was your granddaughter, you reached for her and said, “Now this is a Broaddus baby.” And I knew. I knew that somehow you aware that Emma was part of your family, our family and the tenderness in which you held her that day I will never forget. Dementia might have gotten your mind but God still had your soul and you knew, you knew that Emma was a Broaddus baby.

I will remember your gentle kisses and the long hugs goodbye.

I will remember when you would reach out for my hand to hold it.

I will remember your laugh, or should I say giggle. You really had the best giggle.

I will remember our trips to Texas and Oklahoma that led you showing me where you and grandpa were raised. The “Grapes of Wrath” was your story in so many ways.

I will remember you valued family, but I will always think I was your favorite grand child.

I will remember that you let me be me and still loved me.

I will always remember you taught me to sing “Jesus loves Me” and now I have taught Emma.

I will remember that you would play jacks with me on the floor.

I will remember how you taught me to cut babies out of the Sears catalog and cut clothes so I would have paper dolls.

I will remember the way you cooked. There were always lots and lots of food and adding one more person to the table was never an issue.

I will remember you gave me confidence when I doubted myself.

I will remember when Grandpa would preach in the pulpit, we would sit in the pews and as I sat next to you, you would stroke my hair.

I will remember you and Grandma Laing taught me to love gardening. There is something magical about seeing a seed coming into bloom.

I will remember your love. Your love I never doubted and never questioned. I knew it was always there and that is what I will remember.

I am who I am because of you and you will always have a special place in my heart.

Until we meet again~

Much love.

Your granddaughter,
K

How we celebrated today...

with the Livermore Moms and 500 adults and children at an Easter Egg Hunt at Wente Vineyards. Clark was the photographer and I was a gopher along with a team of volunteers. We had 250 kids hunting for eggs and taking pictures with the Easter Bunny. It was so beautiful and full of life.

One year ago tomorrow...

We found out that Clark had cancer. One year ago tomorrow our world changed forever and completely as we knew it. One year ago tomorrow we began a fight as Team Schoening One Love.

Obligation to reach for justice

“…You have an obligation to reach for justice for those who cannot do it for themselves...”

These words. These words have resonated in my soul since yesterday. These words are so wise. These words came from a friend to me when I asked for some advice.

If I change it a little, it could read, “I have an obligation to reach for justice for those who cannot do it for themselves.”

I asked do I really have the courage? Do I have the strength?

Then I realized after prayer, support from husband and advice from my “lunch ladies”, I realized I have no choice on this particular issue. I have to take the next step.

My knees might be shaking, my voice might crack and I might stumble but I will move forward.

Someone mentioned that I might have a gift for this. I laughed at first and then realized she might be right. There is a fire inside me when injustice is served. I cannot change the world, but I will certainty not stand and let life pass by without at least trying to make a difference. For now I do believe…

“…You have an obligation to reach for justice for those who cannot do it for themselves...”

Public Library, you are still a public agency right?

I became a fan of Livermore Public Library and I wonder why I keep getting befriended by the Facebook page by them? Last time I checked you still are a public agency. Freedom of Speech and Legal rights of Boobs and babes will always prevail.

I would have given you a fair chance. In fact I was waiting to hear from the City Council members I had e-mailed on the issue. Then a few things changed my mind.

Tonight when I heard from a former library employee you discriminated against because when she was nursed her baby on breaks, you fired her and then you had to settle monetarily with her. Settlements are always a great way to use public money! So I go to your Facebook page now and guess what- I find I have been befriended.

Do you plan to befriend any and all patrons of your system when you do not like what they say? Wow! I love your programs but I might not like all of your policies including your casual unwritten policies. The fact you discriminated against a nursing mom makes my skin crawl.

Think about your actions and the long term impact. Settlements are not the way to spend tax payers money!

A tear of joy was shed today

Today we celebrated Lexi's 4th birthday. This was her first birthday that she celebrated in California as a resident.

And today her mom and I shared a tear of joy as the girls played at the park (shhh...do not tell the boys).

Lexi's parents were in our wedding almost 13 years ago. Our miracle babies are almost 10 weeks apart. Lexi was born in North Carolina and Emma was born here. We never imagined that one day we celebrate the birthdays of children together. Now we will celebrate as friends, and with our second generation of girls in gatherings where lots of love, laughter and hugs will be found.

Boobs and Babies Part Three

This will be my last posting for a while about our central public library. I need to pray on what next step I need to take. I am conflicted.

I also know the library’s current director and I have stood opposite each other politically when it came to the Springtown Golf Course. I am not sure if she even remembers me but she has got to feel the sting of no new library in this part of town (since the City Council voted to keep the golf course) and the fact that many hours have been cut at a few different city libraries in the last year.

What I wanted to share was some comments I received on Facebook. I will intentionally left off names but the felt it necessary to bring forth the situations.


1. “I used to work there. I didn't make it past the 6 month probation period because I insisted on nursing my son during my lunch break and pumping for my two 15 minute breaks. Suddenly, my job performance started to suffer. And now, no job. Because I insisted on nursing my son. [not bitter, honest]. Kathleen-... please contact somebody in the media about this. I would love nothing more than to see daily nurse-ins at this library. The library director and one other person (there was a third woman in the equation who has since retired) there really has a problem with women having families AND a career. Also, nursing for them is a big problem. Go after them.”

2. “I called the library myself to get more information. The rooms manager clearly didn't want to discuss it, so she passed me off to the director. She told me children are always welcome to use the meeting rooms, but they cannot guarantee their safety as it's only cleaned nightly. Basically, she told me, it was user beware, but that I was welcome ... See Moreto book a room if I wanted to. I asked her how the community could support the library to make it safer for children (seems like a no brainer!), such as donating plug covers, etc. She said the plugs were already covered, but that at time the previous group doesn't always clean up properly. The example she gave was a quilting group that had left pins all over the floor. I said, it sounds like she shouldn't allow quilting groups, as they clearly can't clean up after themselves, which she didn't sound too pleased with. Hee, hee. So, from our conversation, it sounds like there's no policy, but they don't like kids in there.”


So pray for the decisions that others and I will need to make as individuals.

Boobs and babes part two

The following is in response to some comments I received on Facebook and here is my response.


I am not sure if "nursing babies" include breast fed or bottle or both. And there then is "safety". Really as if "nursing babies" are going to pork their fingers in outlets and pull book shelves down.

I think the problem is the library thinks they are so well insulated against their written and "unwritten" policies that they can get away with whatever suits at the moment because ironically they have now scheduled us for one meeting but not another in a different month even though the time is open again because of no "nursing babies".

There is no doubt our libraries are some of the best but comes sometimes with being the best is ego. Ego of doing what you want when you want because you think you know the best even when you might be wrong. ...

Hell-if Emma still breast or bottle fed I will be sitting in their lobby or outside with her in my lap.

I truly hope the library gets consistent with their policies both written and unwritten and also make sure that those policies are legal because I would hate the ACLU or any other organization that would have interest in this to be notified.

Boobs and babes

Forewarning I am about to get on my soapbox about boobs and babes.

I belong to a local moms organization. We have had difficulty securing a central public library as a location for a meeting because of boobs and babes. The people in charge of the library rental have said that in no terms do they want our moms and their nursing babies at our meetings there because they are afraid of the damage that the babies will occur at their site or the babies could get hurt.

Now really, our moms are not going to place themselves or their babies in any harms way at a library and at our meetings with our nursing moms and babies in the past have had no issues.

So now my soapbox:

First off, when our daughter was born I never thought I would nurse. Then she came and I realized the best thing for her and I, was for me to breast fed her. Yes, over several months she was transitioned to a bottle, but in the beginning she went everywhere with my boobs and me.

Now a library of all places should understand that we moms whether we breastfed or bottle-fed our babies, it is our choice. By excluding a part of our population, you exclude us all.

A second and just as important issue is that one-day our children will be taxpayers. The same tax payers that pay or will donate towards many of your great programs. Now, this is old school here, but as parents we will let our children know that our library did not allow them as nursing babes for a meetings of moms. So many of the librarians at the central public library will long be retired by the time our children are old enough to pay taxes but their legacy against moms and their nursing babies will continue on.

I think about that legacy and hope that the library changes its mind.

What a week!

So Clark started his new job last week. Ironically the same day he started, his oncologist called and asked how long Clark wanted to be on disability. Clark told him to remove him immediately from disability that he returned to work-YEAH!

Then when Clark was at his new job on the first day, two other companies called and asked him to come to talk with them about employment opportunities. These jobs could have made Clark substantially more money than where he was at, but it would have been the same old, same old. Same job functions as before just at different financial institutions. Clark said there was no decision to make, he was just so happy to be where he was and the potential to learn far outweighed anything the other companies could offer. Clark is so happy at his new company. I am so happy for him and so proud!

On the weekend, we went with two other families to Tahoe. I felt my dad coming through when I told Emma if she did not leave her gloves on that her fingers will freeze and we would have to go to the doctors and get the fingers cut off. I wanted her to know that snow and ice are dangerous but seriously I could not believe I said that. Emma's hands, like the other kids are so small for the appropriate snow gloves that we ended up duct taping the gloves to the jackets so they would not fall off. It worked and it kept the kid’s hands warm which was the most important thing.

I was so proud of Emma when she attempted snow sledding and ice skating for the first time. You can see from the post below of the fabulous time we had. We are truly blessed with great new friends.

Yesterday I had lunch with some old high school classmates. We reconnected on Facebook about a year ago and almost each month or each month there is a birthday in the group we go out. Our conversations are quite intimate and I am fortunate to have this group of women in my life.

Last month one of these women, Jen showed up for her birthday dinner in a tiara and pettiskirt. Yesterday Amber was in an Irish leprechaun outfit with lights. She was quite the sight and I can only imagine when the police officer pulled me over for an illegal U-turn that he must have had a good laugh seeing Amber as a passenger and he did not give me a $240 ticket. O the Luck of the Irish I had then.

Now I only wonder what outfits I will have to design come July when we celebrate my birthday.

A Snow Weekend with the S Families

While Clark is away the girls will play...at the zoo.

Clark is working!

What a difference one year makes!

Today Clark started a new full time local job with benefits. The company that hired him is fully aware that he has battled cancer.

It is strange to think in less than a year that Clark went from not being to lift his arm and function to now being able to work.

Recently as we were gathering information for our taxes, we came across disability forms that were filled out when Clark first went out on disability.

On Clark’s disability paperwork, it states Stage 4 B cell lymphoma. This is what the doctor signed off on. We only found out later that the doctor initially told us wrong and in fact, Clark had Stage 2 Large B cell lymphoma. In the cancer area, the stages make a BIG difference.

We have only recently begun to talk about the initial diagnosis and the care Clark received in the beginning when cancer was rude and interrupted our lives. It makes me feel good when Clark tells someone my wife fought for me. And he was right. In the beginning I fought with everything I had and when I could no longer fight, he was then well enough to do it for himself.

One of things I have learned about cancer is that when you hear the word cancer, you should not be afraid. Cancer is a foe and a friend. I have truly learned it is how you embrace cancer. At first the natural instinct to survive should kick in especially when you are the one with cancer and the one who is the caregiver because you will need to fight in different races. The cancer patient needs to fight for wellness and the caregiver needs to ensure the patient needs are being met. For me, I just wanted my husband well. We joke now that Clark buried his head in the sand in the beginning, but he was not alone.

You want to cancer to be a friend later on because once you have it and you are not in remission it is still part of the luggage you carry around and you want to be comfortable with it. I want Clark to know even if he is never in remission; he is still my husband and the father of our child. I have literally seen him stripped naked of almost all his hair and sicker than I have ever seen him and I still want to be with him.

Many of our family friends choose to be with us on our journey. They prayed for us when at times it was dreary.

Our faith is from the heart. I know I cannot quote scripture (Clark is better at this than I) but I know what is true and in our darkest hour it was and is our faith that provides us the footprints to come forward.

Really in the end, our journey is not over and God only knows where we will be led next.

Stay tuned.

A kite flying park type of day

Livermore Moms Leis of Hope

Livermore Moms Leis of Hope

Here are of course is my husband's name along with others who we know and/or are praying for.

A $1 donation and a lei with a dear one's name can be draped in our space at Relay so we can create a flowing line of Leis of Hope. Please know all funds raised will be donated to the American Cancer Society Relay for Life.

See a Livermore Moms Relay for Life Team member. For more information here is the link:
http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLFY10CA?team_id=590416&pg=team&fr_id=20441

Try anything

The one thing that Clark and I want for Emma is for her to know is that she can try anything. Here are some of things she likes to do.

Emma as a ballerina playing the guitar.



Emma warming up for her dance class (leg warmers by Traci Smith).



Emma taking a picture of Dad.



Emma the photographer.