So this is the last week of Clark's radiation. He tires somewhat easily and his temper is on edge all the time. I have to remember that I am not or is Emma the cause of his pain and anger; the cancer and treatment is, but sometimes it is hard. I am sure when everything you hold to be true is shaken and stirred and the future is unknown can be nerve wrecking.
I too, have really learned on who I can lean on as well.
Clark and I had a good laugh today though. I was using WD40 to get some crayon marks from a wall in the house (yes it works). Clark said to me, " You know I cannot stay in this room because WD40 causes cancer." Now, I am not sure if WD40 causes cancer or not, but we laughed. Really if you already have cancer, are you going to care about getting it?
Monday, November 30, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
26 reasons to be thankful this Holiday season
In no particular order~
1. My faith in God.
2. Times when I was weak this year, I was carried.
3. A husband who is trying hard to beat cancer.
4. My daughter who brings rays of light on rainy days.
5. A good pair of running shoes and a good bra (enough said).
6. Old friends who remind you where you have been and still encourage you.
7. New friends who take you on crazy adventures and encourage you to come along.
8. My family who can ground me like no other.
9. Realizing what really matters.
10. Friends who have the courage to say what needs to be said and still hug you.
11. The 6 months of meals we received from others while Clark had chemo.
12. Chocolate and caffeine because no day is complete without them.
13. An Ipod filled with music that is rocking.
14. Three trips to Disneyland this year and one more trip to go before year end.
15. Being able to wear flip flops, Levi's and a sweater still in November.
16. A mortgage that is paid monthly.
17. Learning to love more and forgive in earnest.
18. Learning to be wrong is ok and even life changing.
19. Knowing what it was like when the Raiders were a winning team.
20. Being able to indulge in hobbies like writing, photography and painting.
21. Having a warm bed to go to every night.
22. Knowing now how much both of my grandmas have influenced the way I am with Emma.
23. Silence is not golden with a three year old daughter in the house.
24. Diet Christmas (or AKA XMAS Lite) is the only way to go.
25. Knowing that not all friendships are meant for a lifetime but some are meant for a season.
26. Being Team Captain of the Livermore Moms American Cancer Society's Relay for Life Team in 2010. As one I cannot do this alone, but as many moms together we will be successful in raising donations to celebrate the lives of people who have battled cancer, remember loved ones lost, and fight back against the disease.
1. My faith in God.
2. Times when I was weak this year, I was carried.
3. A husband who is trying hard to beat cancer.
4. My daughter who brings rays of light on rainy days.
5. A good pair of running shoes and a good bra (enough said).
6. Old friends who remind you where you have been and still encourage you.
7. New friends who take you on crazy adventures and encourage you to come along.
8. My family who can ground me like no other.
9. Realizing what really matters.
10. Friends who have the courage to say what needs to be said and still hug you.
11. The 6 months of meals we received from others while Clark had chemo.
12. Chocolate and caffeine because no day is complete without them.
13. An Ipod filled with music that is rocking.
14. Three trips to Disneyland this year and one more trip to go before year end.
15. Being able to wear flip flops, Levi's and a sweater still in November.
16. A mortgage that is paid monthly.
17. Learning to love more and forgive in earnest.
18. Learning to be wrong is ok and even life changing.
19. Knowing what it was like when the Raiders were a winning team.
20. Being able to indulge in hobbies like writing, photography and painting.
21. Having a warm bed to go to every night.
22. Knowing now how much both of my grandmas have influenced the way I am with Emma.
23. Silence is not golden with a three year old daughter in the house.
24. Diet Christmas (or AKA XMAS Lite) is the only way to go.
25. Knowing that not all friendships are meant for a lifetime but some are meant for a season.
26. Being Team Captain of the Livermore Moms American Cancer Society's Relay for Life Team in 2010. As one I cannot do this alone, but as many moms together we will be successful in raising donations to celebrate the lives of people who have battled cancer, remember loved ones lost, and fight back against the disease.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
The Giveaway
When I was little my grandpa used to read Reader's Digest. Now as an adult, I find myself reading Reader's Digest as well. It is a guilty pleasure and some months it takes longer to read through then others and then before I know it the next issue arrives.
I read certain sections before others and then go back to what I have skipped.
This month, was a great article called "Letting Go" by Litty Mathew. It tells the story of "The Giveaway" or Wopila. As the article states it "is a tradition of the Lakota Sioux, on the Rosebud Reservation in South Dakota that on important occasions-birthdays, weddings and funerals-they pass out gifts rather than receive them; including their own prized possessions."
What a great tradition to follow. To be so free to let go of what you value the most. Over time we all accumulate possessions that really should be given a life to someone else to be recycled, one could say for a new use.
I thought of my daughter's favorite possession and that is a bath lobster named "T". "T" was not new when it was given to her. "T" came from some special friends whose twin daughters had outgrown it. From the get go at 4 months old, Emma has loved this lobster. This love was only possible because "T" was a giveaway.
I think of how to instill in Emma that giving is always better than receiving and to "giveaway" is important.
In this time of Thanksgiving, where so many people are in need, a "giveaway" tradition should ensue, a valuable lesson from the Lakota Sioux.
Emma asleep in the car with "T".
I read certain sections before others and then go back to what I have skipped.
This month, was a great article called "Letting Go" by Litty Mathew. It tells the story of "The Giveaway" or Wopila. As the article states it "is a tradition of the Lakota Sioux, on the Rosebud Reservation in South Dakota that on important occasions-birthdays, weddings and funerals-they pass out gifts rather than receive them; including their own prized possessions."
What a great tradition to follow. To be so free to let go of what you value the most. Over time we all accumulate possessions that really should be given a life to someone else to be recycled, one could say for a new use.
I thought of my daughter's favorite possession and that is a bath lobster named "T". "T" was not new when it was given to her. "T" came from some special friends whose twin daughters had outgrown it. From the get go at 4 months old, Emma has loved this lobster. This love was only possible because "T" was a giveaway.
I think of how to instill in Emma that giving is always better than receiving and to "giveaway" is important.
In this time of Thanksgiving, where so many people are in need, a "giveaway" tradition should ensue, a valuable lesson from the Lakota Sioux.
Emma asleep in the car with "T".
Saturday, November 21, 2009
A Night under the stars and so much more...
Last weekend, Clark took off with the boys to Tahoe. These particular groups of guys have gone camping together for years and this year they decided to rent a cabin. So with Clark away, Emma and I played.
One of the best things we did was on last Saturday night; Emma and I went with Kris, Delilah, Tori and Annaka for an evening walk into Sycamore Grove Park for "Dark Fall Skies" with Livermore Area Recreation & Park District (LARPD). Our park and rec program is the best in the Bay Area hands down. It was a chance to see the stars changing from summer to winter and possibly glimpse some early Leonid meteors.
For the first part of the walk, we kept the girls in their strollers. Normally we do not use strollers but it was pitch black with only a few stars and flashlights to guide us. However, half way through the 2 mile walk, we let Emma and Delilah out of their strollers.
Until the day I die, I swear I will never forget the screams of delight they let out. Emma and Delilah practically walked 2 feet in the air and it was pure joy. Kris and I laughed over the girls and their newfound freedom in a dark park under the stars. It truly was magical.
On Monday, my best gal from the East Coast (and a bridesmaid in our wedding 12 years ago) was out and stayed the night with us. I was so excited to see her. She thankfully stayed with Emma and Clark while I was at a meeting. When I came home it was about 8:30pm and my dear friend was sound asleep on the couch. I did not care because it was the most I had seen her in a long time. We pray all the time that Syndi, her husband and their daughter (who is only a few months older than Emma and no we did not plan it that) move back to CA. We miss them and would love to have them here again. God willing they will be.
Thursday I got to lunch with my friends from high school. I never ever imagined in my wildest dreams I would ever want to do this, but strangely now we connect because we are all women, we are moms and two of us have husbands with cancer. I love these lunches. It reminds me of how far I have come and how far I have yet to go.
Now today. Clark and I had not spent time with Emma as a family in sometime. We went to Tilden Park in Berkeley and rode the train. It was cold so we ventured further down to the Berkeley Marina to the Adventure Playground. It was awesome. Emma is not a fearful child so she wanted to touch, climb and play on everything no matter no rickety it looked. We both stopped ourselves once or twice from wanting to help her because really she did not need our help nor wanted it. We had to just let her be and it was wonderful. We cannot wait to go back!
One of the best things we did was on last Saturday night; Emma and I went with Kris, Delilah, Tori and Annaka for an evening walk into Sycamore Grove Park for "Dark Fall Skies" with Livermore Area Recreation & Park District (LARPD). Our park and rec program is the best in the Bay Area hands down. It was a chance to see the stars changing from summer to winter and possibly glimpse some early Leonid meteors.
For the first part of the walk, we kept the girls in their strollers. Normally we do not use strollers but it was pitch black with only a few stars and flashlights to guide us. However, half way through the 2 mile walk, we let Emma and Delilah out of their strollers.
Until the day I die, I swear I will never forget the screams of delight they let out. Emma and Delilah practically walked 2 feet in the air and it was pure joy. Kris and I laughed over the girls and their newfound freedom in a dark park under the stars. It truly was magical.
On Monday, my best gal from the East Coast (and a bridesmaid in our wedding 12 years ago) was out and stayed the night with us. I was so excited to see her. She thankfully stayed with Emma and Clark while I was at a meeting. When I came home it was about 8:30pm and my dear friend was sound asleep on the couch. I did not care because it was the most I had seen her in a long time. We pray all the time that Syndi, her husband and their daughter (who is only a few months older than Emma and no we did not plan it that) move back to CA. We miss them and would love to have them here again. God willing they will be.
Thursday I got to lunch with my friends from high school. I never ever imagined in my wildest dreams I would ever want to do this, but strangely now we connect because we are all women, we are moms and two of us have husbands with cancer. I love these lunches. It reminds me of how far I have come and how far I have yet to go.
Now today. Clark and I had not spent time with Emma as a family in sometime. We went to Tilden Park in Berkeley and rode the train. It was cold so we ventured further down to the Berkeley Marina to the Adventure Playground. It was awesome. Emma is not a fearful child so she wanted to touch, climb and play on everything no matter no rickety it looked. We both stopped ourselves once or twice from wanting to help her because really she did not need our help nor wanted it. We had to just let her be and it was wonderful. We cannot wait to go back!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Livermore Moms will Relay for Life
Our Reason to Relay
Fighting cancer is a team effort. The impact we can make together is much greater than what any of us could do alone.
Livermore Moms will Relay because we care about cancer. We care about the individuals in our lifes who have cancer and are affected by it. We will do our best to join others in finding a cure to all cancers in our lifetime.
By joining or donating to our team, you will be a part of a life-changing event that gives everyone in the community a chance to celebrate the lives of people who have battled cancer, remember loved ones lost, and fight back against a disease that takes too much.
Please make a donation, or join our team and help us create a world with less cancer and more birthdays.
http://www.facebook.com/l/c4440;main.acsevents.org/goto/livermore_moms
What is Relay for Life? The American Cancer Society Relay For Life represents the hope that those lost to cancer will never be forgotten, that those who face cancer will be supported, and that one-day cancer will be eliminated.
My husband has battled non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma since March 2009. All our 3 year old daughter wants to do is kiss Daddy’s owie and make it go away. As a wife I pray that one day he will become a cancer survivor. In the meantime, I will do my best to to take part in the Relay and help the American Cancer Society save lives by:
* Helping people stay well by helping them take steps to prevent cancer or detect it early, when it’s most treatable
* Helping people get well by being in their corner around the clock to guide them through every step of their cancer experience
* Finding cures by funding groundbreaking research that helps us understand cancer’s causes, determine how best to prevent it and discover new ways to cure it
* Fighting back by working with lawmakers to pass laws to defeat cancer and rallying communities worldwide to join the fight
Please support my efforts by making a donation or by joining my Relay For Life team. Together, we have the power to make a difference!
http://main.acsevents.org/goto/Kathleen.Schoening
Fighting cancer is a team effort. The impact we can make together is much greater than what any of us could do alone.
Livermore Moms will Relay because we care about cancer. We care about the individuals in our lifes who have cancer and are affected by it. We will do our best to join others in finding a cure to all cancers in our lifetime.
By joining or donating to our team, you will be a part of a life-changing event that gives everyone in the community a chance to celebrate the lives of people who have battled cancer, remember loved ones lost, and fight back against a disease that takes too much.
Please make a donation, or join our team and help us create a world with less cancer and more birthdays.
http://www.facebook.com/l/c4440;main.acsevents.org/goto/livermore_moms
What is Relay for Life? The American Cancer Society Relay For Life represents the hope that those lost to cancer will never be forgotten, that those who face cancer will be supported, and that one-day cancer will be eliminated.
My husband has battled non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma since March 2009. All our 3 year old daughter wants to do is kiss Daddy’s owie and make it go away. As a wife I pray that one day he will become a cancer survivor. In the meantime, I will do my best to to take part in the Relay and help the American Cancer Society save lives by:
* Helping people stay well by helping them take steps to prevent cancer or detect it early, when it’s most treatable
* Helping people get well by being in their corner around the clock to guide them through every step of their cancer experience
* Finding cures by funding groundbreaking research that helps us understand cancer’s causes, determine how best to prevent it and discover new ways to cure it
* Fighting back by working with lawmakers to pass laws to defeat cancer and rallying communities worldwide to join the fight
Please support my efforts by making a donation or by joining my Relay For Life team. Together, we have the power to make a difference!
http://main.acsevents.org/goto/Kathleen.Schoening
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Insurance Coverage Denied
I was reading in the November 16, 2009 edition of the Valley Times an article titled “Coverage denials a part of business” by Sandy Kiefmann. It was an interesting read about a woman who was denied health coverage by Kaiser because of breast cancer in 2004 and other medical issues.
The woman initially received a letter listing four reasons for denying the woman’s enrollment for Kaiser. One of the generic reasons listed in the form letter by Kaiser was non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma.
This is what caught my eye.
Now, there are two sides to every story as I am told repeatedly but it got me to thinking.
Once Cobra runs out and if Clark does not have a job with benefits, we will have to purchase health insurance coverage.
Will Kaiser deny Clark if he applies for coverage because of his non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma even though we have been Kaiser members for years?
It is a very real possibility. A friend who is a cancer survivor has given us some advice. It was never; ever allow Clark’s insurance to lapse whether it is for health or life.
We have been told that if Clark has to apply for new health insurance again he will be denied because of cancer. I actually think this is unconscionable.
You survive cancer and then are denied insurance because you survived it?
A health care worker also told Clark not to tell potential employers that he has had cancer. Yes, there are laws against discrimination but let’s face in the real world this happens much too often.
We will cross each bridge as we come to it. We pray that Clark will not be denied a job or future health care coverage because of the non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma.
In fact, we should push for legislation that prohibits cancer survivors from being denied health care coverage at all. NO cancer survivor should have to worry about future care and follow up.
The woman initially received a letter listing four reasons for denying the woman’s enrollment for Kaiser. One of the generic reasons listed in the form letter by Kaiser was non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma.
This is what caught my eye.
Now, there are two sides to every story as I am told repeatedly but it got me to thinking.
Once Cobra runs out and if Clark does not have a job with benefits, we will have to purchase health insurance coverage.
Will Kaiser deny Clark if he applies for coverage because of his non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma even though we have been Kaiser members for years?
It is a very real possibility. A friend who is a cancer survivor has given us some advice. It was never; ever allow Clark’s insurance to lapse whether it is for health or life.
We have been told that if Clark has to apply for new health insurance again he will be denied because of cancer. I actually think this is unconscionable.
You survive cancer and then are denied insurance because you survived it?
A health care worker also told Clark not to tell potential employers that he has had cancer. Yes, there are laws against discrimination but let’s face in the real world this happens much too often.
We will cross each bridge as we come to it. We pray that Clark will not be denied a job or future health care coverage because of the non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma.
In fact, we should push for legislation that prohibits cancer survivors from being denied health care coverage at all. NO cancer survivor should have to worry about future care and follow up.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Who cares? Who takes responsibility?
This has nothing to do with cancer. Nothing at all to do with cancer.
Scenario
A mom becomes aware of a child (other than hers) who is in potential harm and danger. She calls the police. The police call back and yes it “could” be an issue and the mother should call CPS. The police provide the mother the CPS phone number to call anonymously. The mothers calls CPS and is on hold for 45 minutes, has to leave her name and number (thus no longer an anonymous call). CPS takes almost 6 hours to call back. At this point, the mother feels that since the police did not do anything, why would CPS and goes no further.
This issue was discussed recently by a group of woman I had lunch with. At the table was stay at home moms, moms who were teachers, attorneys, CPA’s, etc.
This group of women is very much a mixed bag of moms who represent all walks of life.
The attorney mom said that the police had actually had a responsibility to call CPS since they now had knowledge of a situation and they were obligated to follow up.
The teacher mom said if she was in situation and the incident did not occur in her “working hours” as a teacher on campus, she would not feel a duty at all to do anything.
A debate then ensured on whether one is never really off the clock when they work in law enforcement, medical professions, teachers, attorneys, social workers among other fields and if they had an expectation, an obligation, to report the incident because they took an oath, had a credential, had a license that directed them to do so.
Many, many complication to think of. In addition, the above fields are short staffed due to the economy, budget cuts, lack of funding and anything else that can prevent one from fulfilling their job to the fullest.
And as fellow parents. Who are we to police what others do to their children, do we just turn our back and walk away? At what length do we go to protect the children of the next generation? What if it was your child in the care of a babysitter, a day care worker, a family member or family friend? What would you do?
So finally the question came back to the welfare of the child and at what length does a child have to be put in harm’s way before action is taken?
The answer comes back to who cares and who takes responsibility.
Scenario
A mom becomes aware of a child (other than hers) who is in potential harm and danger. She calls the police. The police call back and yes it “could” be an issue and the mother should call CPS. The police provide the mother the CPS phone number to call anonymously. The mothers calls CPS and is on hold for 45 minutes, has to leave her name and number (thus no longer an anonymous call). CPS takes almost 6 hours to call back. At this point, the mother feels that since the police did not do anything, why would CPS and goes no further.
This issue was discussed recently by a group of woman I had lunch with. At the table was stay at home moms, moms who were teachers, attorneys, CPA’s, etc.
This group of women is very much a mixed bag of moms who represent all walks of life.
The attorney mom said that the police had actually had a responsibility to call CPS since they now had knowledge of a situation and they were obligated to follow up.
The teacher mom said if she was in situation and the incident did not occur in her “working hours” as a teacher on campus, she would not feel a duty at all to do anything.
A debate then ensured on whether one is never really off the clock when they work in law enforcement, medical professions, teachers, attorneys, social workers among other fields and if they had an expectation, an obligation, to report the incident because they took an oath, had a credential, had a license that directed them to do so.
Many, many complication to think of. In addition, the above fields are short staffed due to the economy, budget cuts, lack of funding and anything else that can prevent one from fulfilling their job to the fullest.
And as fellow parents. Who are we to police what others do to their children, do we just turn our back and walk away? At what length do we go to protect the children of the next generation? What if it was your child in the care of a babysitter, a day care worker, a family member or family friend? What would you do?
So finally the question came back to the welfare of the child and at what length does a child have to be put in harm’s way before action is taken?
The answer comes back to who cares and who takes responsibility.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
4 am wakings and radiation
The last few nights Clark wakes up at 4 am. He thinks about his health, money, employment, us and everything else that keeps his mind a racetrack. All the cars are on fire in his head and it is as if the lineup was for NASCAR. Clark wanders around the house and finally ends up in the living room to watch TV to wait for the rest of us to get up. I pray that he can finally put some of his “cars” in the shop soon. Clark needs to get some solid sleep.
Clark has had very few side effects with the radiation (besides the “racetrack”). He goes to radiation Monday through Friday for about 5-10 minutes a day. He has been able to bike in the last few weeks, nothing regular yet, but hopefully soon he can get on a regular exercise schedule.
A bonus that radiation seems to have over chemo is generally Clark feels better and is getting color back along with his hair.
Clark has had very few side effects with the radiation (besides the “racetrack”). He goes to radiation Monday through Friday for about 5-10 minutes a day. He has been able to bike in the last few weeks, nothing regular yet, but hopefully soon he can get on a regular exercise schedule.
A bonus that radiation seems to have over chemo is generally Clark feels better and is getting color back along with his hair.
Pledge of Allegiance
"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands: one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."
The next time you say those words thank and say a prayer for our veterans and those who are fighting to preserve our freedom.
God Bless them all!
The next time you say those words thank and say a prayer for our veterans and those who are fighting to preserve our freedom.
God Bless them all!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Livermore City Council Meetings
Okay I admit I am a junkie, a local political junkie at times. I have been known to frequent Livermore's City Council meeting on a regular basis in the past. I wanted to know the leaders of the city where I live and the people who actually implemented the decisions. Last night I got sucked in again.
I had a few minutes to kill before a meeting and I found myself driving to the Chamber trailers. I walked in and it felt like the sitcom "Cheers" where everyone knows your name. Someone asked, "Hey, where have you been?" (there are a handful of regulars who attend these meetings). I explained about Clark and our life the last year.
The Mayor and Clark have both had Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma.
It was strange. There was a new City Clerk and a new Assistant Manager (the old one will be missed), but it was the same council.
There was a recent election but no one ran against the incumbents, however in the next few years a few city council members will be termed out.
There were students from a local Civics class (should be mandatory for all students I believe).
And there were others, because if you go often enough it does become like "Cheers" and I know I will be sucked in again because I am a junkie, a local political junkie.
I had a few minutes to kill before a meeting and I found myself driving to the Chamber trailers. I walked in and it felt like the sitcom "Cheers" where everyone knows your name. Someone asked, "Hey, where have you been?" (there are a handful of regulars who attend these meetings). I explained about Clark and our life the last year.
The Mayor and Clark have both had Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma.
It was strange. There was a new City Clerk and a new Assistant Manager (the old one will be missed), but it was the same council.
There was a recent election but no one ran against the incumbents, however in the next few years a few city council members will be termed out.
There were students from a local Civics class (should be mandatory for all students I believe).
And there were others, because if you go often enough it does become like "Cheers" and I know I will be sucked in again because I am a junkie, a local political junkie.
Monday, November 9, 2009
One day tape, glue, kisses and hugs will not fix everything...
Today Emma broke one of the arms off of a doll. She came to me and said, "Mommy, please fix this. Do you need tape or glue?" Emma knows so far in her young life, when something breaks we try and fix it with tape or glue. So today was no different.
But I wonder about the day when tape and glue will not fix her toys, when hugs and kisses will not fix her hurt feelings. I know we cannot shield her from the pain of a lost friendship or a broken heart and I am not looking forward to that day.
At her young age, Emma has already experienced death and sickness. We lost two elderly cats in the past year. Every time Emma asks about the cats, I tell her, "Emma, the kitties went to a new home called heaven." This seems to pacify her for now. And sickness. With Clark being sick, she has had to see first hand how daddies are not always well.
We will try our best to shield Emma from known dangers and protect her for as long as we can. For now, tape, glue, kisses and hugs will fix most situations and for that I am glad.
But I wonder about the day when tape and glue will not fix her toys, when hugs and kisses will not fix her hurt feelings. I know we cannot shield her from the pain of a lost friendship or a broken heart and I am not looking forward to that day.
At her young age, Emma has already experienced death and sickness. We lost two elderly cats in the past year. Every time Emma asks about the cats, I tell her, "Emma, the kitties went to a new home called heaven." This seems to pacify her for now. And sickness. With Clark being sick, she has had to see first hand how daddies are not always well.
We will try our best to shield Emma from known dangers and protect her for as long as we can. For now, tape, glue, kisses and hugs will fix most situations and for that I am glad.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Fake It Until You Make It
I personally think this statement is one of the most over processed things I hear. According to Wikipedia the meaning of Fake is a term used to describe or imply something that is false. "Fake" means false.
I am not sure about you, but I am raw, real and a work in progress. I cannot fake what I am not but I can try and fail, learn from it, live on and love more from it.
I really have been thinking much about this lately. Maybe it is because Clark and I both are getting back into shape. He loves to ride his bike and I am a walker.
And now, somehow I have found myself signed up for Jennifer’s team for the 199 Mile Relay next year (promoting donation through Organs 'R' Us "ORU"). I cannot show up on Relay weekend without having done some work. I cannot fake being in shape. I cannot tell my teammates I am ready if I have not done my part. Thankfully I have 6 months and hours of training to put in before hand. I also cannot do this alone. I will need the prayer and support of my family and friends both new and old.
I say both new and old, because I think it is important to widen your circle of friends. My best friend Terilynn I have known each over 20 years. In fact our core circle of friends have all known each other anywhere from 20 to 30 years. We are now scattered all over the world. So while we have come to treasure our relations, we also have created new friends that bring new perspectives and new ideas.
As a side note, I was once told I could not hold a role within an organization because it had been filled by a known friend of the leader. Okay, I understand, but what I understand more is if you are willing to take a chance. I look back now and I continue to see roles within this organization filled by friends of friends. Creating a clique and a wall to those who want to get in.
I know when Team Schoening: Team One Love walked in the Lymphomathon in June 2009 we were only successful because we had new and old friends walking and contributing. I pray that more organizations would take down their walls and enlighten their lives with old friends and maybe discover a gold relationship with a new friend.
Now today Clark cannot ride up Mt. Diablo. His body has been fighting cancer for a year, but perhaps he can ride/walk up the Sunol ridge. Clark’s body needs to find a new rhythm and strength. He also cannot do this alone. Clark needs prayer and support from us-his family and his friends both new and old.
Clark and I cannot fake being in shape but we can try and fail, learn from it, live on and love more from it.
Note: I know I will not fail my teammates for the Relay.
I am not sure about you, but I am raw, real and a work in progress. I cannot fake what I am not but I can try and fail, learn from it, live on and love more from it.
I really have been thinking much about this lately. Maybe it is because Clark and I both are getting back into shape. He loves to ride his bike and I am a walker.
And now, somehow I have found myself signed up for Jennifer’s team for the 199 Mile Relay next year (promoting donation through Organs 'R' Us "ORU"). I cannot show up on Relay weekend without having done some work. I cannot fake being in shape. I cannot tell my teammates I am ready if I have not done my part. Thankfully I have 6 months and hours of training to put in before hand. I also cannot do this alone. I will need the prayer and support of my family and friends both new and old.
I say both new and old, because I think it is important to widen your circle of friends. My best friend Terilynn I have known each over 20 years. In fact our core circle of friends have all known each other anywhere from 20 to 30 years. We are now scattered all over the world. So while we have come to treasure our relations, we also have created new friends that bring new perspectives and new ideas.
As a side note, I was once told I could not hold a role within an organization because it had been filled by a known friend of the leader. Okay, I understand, but what I understand more is if you are willing to take a chance. I look back now and I continue to see roles within this organization filled by friends of friends. Creating a clique and a wall to those who want to get in.
I know when Team Schoening: Team One Love walked in the Lymphomathon in June 2009 we were only successful because we had new and old friends walking and contributing. I pray that more organizations would take down their walls and enlighten their lives with old friends and maybe discover a gold relationship with a new friend.
Now today Clark cannot ride up Mt. Diablo. His body has been fighting cancer for a year, but perhaps he can ride/walk up the Sunol ridge. Clark’s body needs to find a new rhythm and strength. He also cannot do this alone. Clark needs prayer and support from us-his family and his friends both new and old.
Clark and I cannot fake being in shape but we can try and fail, learn from it, live on and love more from it.
Note: I know I will not fail my teammates for the Relay.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Momma, can you stay just one more minute...
Every time I put Emma down for a nap or at bedtime, she says, "Momma, can you stay just one more minute..." And I do. I know she is just trying to stay up longer but for me its those moments that I treasure.
The last few years have passed so quickly. It seems just like yesterday she was nursing and now she is a little girl. A little girl that in not so many years will become a young lady and then a beautiful woman.
I want to retain carefully those passages in my memory. I will know that I have cherished the time for just one more minute.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
A little good news...
First off, in our Livermore family to San Ramon family trick or treaters contest, Livermore thumped San Ramon once again. Sorry,no other words to describe it. We had 51 kids compared to San Ramon's paltry 19 kids.
Thank God we had enough candy.
Approximately 2 years ago Design, Community & Environment (DC&E) out of Berkeley completed research for the City of Livermore on Northeast Livermore Facilities that indicated our direct neighborhood consisted primarily of senior citizens. We argued that the report was wrong and if the consultants had been in our neighborhood on Halloween night this year they would seen our neighborhood spills over with children.
Actually, the immediate senior citizens around us are like bonus grandparents for Emma and you know who you are Dave, Peggy, Camille, Joan, etc.
It was also very humbling when neighbors who I had not seen in a while asked about Clark. Nothing to me says more about a community then when neighbors say they are praying for your husband and your family. Thank you!
And lastly, Livermore Moms will have a American Cancer Society Relay For Life Team. We are just waiting for Livermore to put up their site officially and we are off.
When I put the feeler out within Livermore Moms for the American Cancer Society Relay For Life I was blown over that within 24 hours I had 11 moms and their families wanting to be on the team. We have much work to do in the upcoming months so I ask for prayer for the team, for our donation efforts and the end result. Livermore Moms will Relay because We Care About Cancer.
Thank God we had enough candy.
Approximately 2 years ago Design, Community & Environment (DC&E) out of Berkeley completed research for the City of Livermore on Northeast Livermore Facilities that indicated our direct neighborhood consisted primarily of senior citizens. We argued that the report was wrong and if the consultants had been in our neighborhood on Halloween night this year they would seen our neighborhood spills over with children.
Actually, the immediate senior citizens around us are like bonus grandparents for Emma and you know who you are Dave, Peggy, Camille, Joan, etc.
It was also very humbling when neighbors who I had not seen in a while asked about Clark. Nothing to me says more about a community then when neighbors say they are praying for your husband and your family. Thank you!
And lastly, Livermore Moms will have a American Cancer Society Relay For Life Team. We are just waiting for Livermore to put up their site officially and we are off.
When I put the feeler out within Livermore Moms for the American Cancer Society Relay For Life I was blown over that within 24 hours I had 11 moms and their families wanting to be on the team. We have much work to do in the upcoming months so I ask for prayer for the team, for our donation efforts and the end result. Livermore Moms will Relay because We Care About Cancer.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Aggressive radiation begins
UGH! UGH! UGH! Sometimes this journey my husband (and the rest of us) have been on for the last year has been loving, graceful, complicated and confusing. So many emotions and so many ups and downs.
Today Clark started radiation and to be exact, aggressive radiation. This was after the radiation doctor told Clark that he would have to have the aggressive treatment since Clark's cancer was considered aggressive.
The end date would be the first week of December.
So, I ask, if the doctors found Clark's cancer to be so aggressive why was radiation delayed? Clark told me today that he thinks his oncologist said that radiation should have started about a month after chemo. It has now been almost 2 months since his chemo was finished.
This has a test of faith for me. I have nothing left but to pray to God that Clark is healed of this disease. I also pray that for those in the medical field who have treated Clark with a nonchalant attitude.
You see when Clark came home today it was heart breaking. The radiation doctor said it was aggressive and yet the treatment was delayed due to paperwork, no appointments available, etc.
I will pray with a peaceful readiness that the aggressive radiation Clark is now getting will combat the bold Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma that Clark has.
Today Clark started radiation and to be exact, aggressive radiation. This was after the radiation doctor told Clark that he would have to have the aggressive treatment since Clark's cancer was considered aggressive.
The end date would be the first week of December.
So, I ask, if the doctors found Clark's cancer to be so aggressive why was radiation delayed? Clark told me today that he thinks his oncologist said that radiation should have started about a month after chemo. It has now been almost 2 months since his chemo was finished.
This has a test of faith for me. I have nothing left but to pray to God that Clark is healed of this disease. I also pray that for those in the medical field who have treated Clark with a nonchalant attitude.
You see when Clark came home today it was heart breaking. The radiation doctor said it was aggressive and yet the treatment was delayed due to paperwork, no appointments available, etc.
I will pray with a peaceful readiness that the aggressive radiation Clark is now getting will combat the bold Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma that Clark has.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Livermore Moms and American Cancer Society Relay For Life
Livermore Moms and American Cancer Society Relay For Life
One of the great ideas that the Philanthropic Committee has come up is for the Livermore Moms to participate in 2010 is the American Cancer Society Relay For Life. This means that Livermore Moms would have its own team and theme.
What is Relay for Life? The American Cancer Society Relay For Life represents the hope that those lost to cancer will never be forgotten, that those who face cancer will be supported, and that one-day cancer will be eliminated. At Relay, teams of people camp out at a local high school, park, or fairground and take turns walking or running around a track or path. Each team is asked to have a representative on the track at all times during the event. Because cancer never sleeps, Relays are overnight events up to 24 hours in length.
The Relay for Life in Livermore will start on 6/26/2010 at 9:00 AM at 600 Maple St. Some of fundraising events could include baked goods, garage sales, donations (asking 5 people to donate $20 would be an easy $100), etc.
Since teams are in the process of forming now, I asking those who would like to participate to e-mail me. We would like to see if there is enough interest from Livermore Moms to form a team.
And yes, I have a personal interest in this. My husband has battled cancer for almost a year. All our 3 year old daughter wants to do is kiss Daddy’s owie and make it go away and as a wife I pray the same.
So, please if you have any interest, contact me.
Kathleen Schoening
Co-Director of the Livermore Moms
One of the great ideas that the Philanthropic Committee has come up is for the Livermore Moms to participate in 2010 is the American Cancer Society Relay For Life. This means that Livermore Moms would have its own team and theme.
What is Relay for Life? The American Cancer Society Relay For Life represents the hope that those lost to cancer will never be forgotten, that those who face cancer will be supported, and that one-day cancer will be eliminated. At Relay, teams of people camp out at a local high school, park, or fairground and take turns walking or running around a track or path. Each team is asked to have a representative on the track at all times during the event. Because cancer never sleeps, Relays are overnight events up to 24 hours in length.
The Relay for Life in Livermore will start on 6/26/2010 at 9:00 AM at 600 Maple St. Some of fundraising events could include baked goods, garage sales, donations (asking 5 people to donate $20 would be an easy $100), etc.
Since teams are in the process of forming now, I asking those who would like to participate to e-mail me. We would like to see if there is enough interest from Livermore Moms to form a team.
And yes, I have a personal interest in this. My husband has battled cancer for almost a year. All our 3 year old daughter wants to do is kiss Daddy’s owie and make it go away and as a wife I pray the same.
So, please if you have any interest, contact me.
Kathleen Schoening
Co-Director of the Livermore Moms
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