This is chemo week so Clark is on edge and puts us on edge unintentionally.
Today was cancer ugly. There are no words to describe what Clark goes through on these kind of days. His frustration at his lack of energy and wanting to move forward with life, but having Chester and his cousins still hanging out depletes his emotional state.
His mom complained about being sick last week while coughing up a pack of cigarettes on the phone with Clark and that made him worry so. She's fine apparently just a sinus infection and still smoking but nothing like making a chemo patient worry needlessly (seriously and am about to go there-your son has CANCER! Quit smoking!).
Watching the Tour De France is helpful for Clark since as an avid bike rider before cancer it is encouraging for him to look ahead and at times it can be discouraging. The double edged sword of cancer-never fun. And those of our family and friends who have seen cancer ugly know it is not fun either.
And as a care giver I can never get used to certain things and the anger that is real at times for both him and I. The ups and downs of an illness that cannot be done soon enough.
I love my husband and pray the days that cancer ugly emerges that the time ends quickly and Chester and his cousins go to their own home soon.
San diego did not cure me -V
ReplyDeleteI can relate. I remember when I double-pierced my ears as a teenager, a relative (who will remain anonymous) scolded me on more than one occasion, lectured me that I was mutilating my body -- While this person chain-smoked (I'm talking about a fresh cigarette already in one hand while in the middle of smoking one in the other!) Out of respect for my elder, I refrained from retorting, but I so wanted to say that a piercing of an ear is not permanently damaging my health or the health of others who breathe around me.
ReplyDeleteAmazingly sad...Disappointing...Frustrating... And amidst your Cancer Ugly, my heart goes out to you, I pray for you and know that your strength and patience is there to counter the circumstances.
On another note -- Sonic Thursday is here!!!