In the beginning Clark and I spent more time together without Emma at doctors and hospitals since the time she was born. We reconnected our marriage and in many ways ourselves.
However, there comes a time and place when a caregiver has to stop enabling. I think Clark and I are now at that point. In the beginning I went to every appointment and now Clark has his wings back (so to speak) and wants, no needs to do things by himself. I too, need that.
Cancer does change your life and attitude. We are now looking to live at places that were only dreams before and with a little luck and a prayer we may eventually over time move there. Waves on the sand and sunsets on the beach are engrained in both of us and we wonder now why we are in the suburbs when truly the coast (or an island) should be our home and will be one day. Emma on a surfboard would be such a great sight!
While Clark is looking at places, he still is not quite well enough to work yet. And then there is that daily radiation he will have to have once chemo is complete. So it will take time.
Time. We have spent so much time with my family and our friends. Our blessings. Our gifts from God, there are no other words to describe it. I know if Clark, Emma or I were to die tomorrow (God forbid) we will have known what it is to have loved and be loved. What a gift!
And laugh. We have laughed and laughed over the silliest things.
There is life after chemo and radiation, but really there is life now. Love it and live it because it goes by so fast.
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